A Year in Review
How many resolutions did I keep?
When I decided to write a blog about the past year and really started to dig in and review it, it was quite an eye-opener. I had only made one resolution: To be a better version of myself. Even though I had a lot of successes and was/appeared to be happy as I was always smiling. I have been told I put up a good front. Not matter, I really wanted to change my perspective. To change my thoughts to be more positive, my body to be as strong as it could be, and my mind to be more at peace.
For the past several years, due to the pandemic, I have been rather isolated. It’s not just because I have MS. Having MS doesn’t actually make me immunocompromised. It’s that choice I make to take a disease-modifying treatment (DMT). The DMT is a b-cell therapy that basically shuts my immune system off so it stops attacking my body but in return opens me up to any infection, bacterial or viral. It’s not just COVID, it’s a cold, the flu, tetanus, or anything. And no, I won’t die (most likely) but it will take me longer to overcome the infection/virus and since I do have MS it will wake my immune system to do what it does… which is unknown. A fever could trigger a flare-up that could leave me with more lesions, which in turn take away more abilities, which ones? No one knows until it happens. My body doesn’t know how to just fight the bad stuff, it fights the good stuff like my nervous system at the same time.
With that explained let’s get to the meat of my year in review. What happened? What did I allow myself to do? What experiences did I have? What did I accomplish? Well…
By this time last year, I was in a bit of a funk where my partner was working long hours and the days were cold and dark. I was lonely and looking for new hobbies or things to busy my time. I tried reading, but that didn’t work out and those of you that know me know that I just can’t sit down and get ‘involved’ in a book. I tried binging TV but felt useless. I need to be moving and engaged. So that lead to our search for a Puppy pal, a companion that I could talk to, walk, play with, nurture and train.
In January I also decided to start a nutritional journey for my health, both physically and mentally. I needed to change my habits across the board. How I thought about myself and how I thought about food all needed to be revamped. Why I felt so depressed about where I was in my life or who I was in my life? I knew I could be better and feel better. So I started the #HealthyChoices journey that I can only say, changed my life.
But let’s get back to finding a puppy that lit my heart on fire. It wasn’t hard as they are all adorable, but it definitely took some time to find one that stuck around long enough. During the pandemic, it tends to be that everyone is rescuing pups, cats and bunnies. Yup, I said it, bunnies were big.
I finally found Blippin’ (his birth name), he was the sweetest little ‘ham butt’ I had ever seen. (I say ham butt because his bum looked like a little pig’s butt would). We went to meet him and it was an instant connection for both my partner and me. After months of looking, we found our new family member.
We adjusted his name to match more of what his new lifestyle would be. Zephry - meaning West Wind and he got his own hashtag: #AdventuresOfZephyr - he quickly fell into his role as the best distraction I could have ever asked for. He would sleep on my lap while on conference calls, remind me to get up and take him out and get me moving and away from my desk and best of all filled my evenings with walks, playing in the yard and cuddling on the couch. We may have rescued him, but he in turn rescued us right back. He gave me purpose again and turned my life right-side up.
That experience all unfolded in January and February. He became ours at the end of February.
January also included our first winter hike. It was a chilly, winter hike up Mount Willard in Northern NH with the family. This hike is a favorite and is always incredibly fun and worth the drive, the views are beautiful in the White Mountains no matter the season.
Whenever my legs get me to the top of a mountain I celebrate because they definitely don’t like going as far or as fast anymore, but I will #NeverGiveUp on what I love and that’s hiking, exploring and leaving my troubles on the mountain.
The winter is always a good time because I am able to keep busy cleaning up snow in the yard and when it snows that means the kiddo and I get to hit our local ski mountain, Pats Peak. It’s a small, family-oriented mountain where Morgan learned to ski and I enjoy watching her develop over the past 10 years. We go early for the first chair and only stay a few hours because of overcrowding and the cold. The cold definitely affects my MS symptoms. We always make the most of it and have a great time together. The best time is spent on the chairlift, sharing her thoughts and ideas and just talking with my mini-me. Those moments melt my heart.
February is our Birthday Month! Yes, my daughter and I celebrate our birthdays just 5 days apart so we must take the whole month to celebrate. [Side note and a whole other blog post, Morgan was 7 weeks early, originally due in April, but she couldn’t wait to meet me and after a high-risk pregnancy she came Feb 20th as a 5 lbs 3 oz premie, now 5’10 and towering over me, she’s was the most stressful and scary time of my life and has blossomed into my biggest accomplishment, but more on that in another post].
I try to make our birthday month special with 2 parties, presents, making your own cupcakes and decorating. This year we went to explore the ocean shoreline for her 13th. And yup you would be correct if you thought the ocean on the East Coast in February is quite chilly but there are absolutely no crowds.
Making memories and having a blast doing it is the motto we live by.
Wow, the year is speading by. Onto March. March is MS awareness month so I am typically busy building awareness and raising funds for organizations like MS4MS and the National MS Society. It is my mission to find a cure in my lifetime. We are so very close and are learning more and more every day about what makes up MS, what potentially could ‘prevent’ it and so much more. I make certain that I am a strong advocate and share my story and posts as often as I can with whoever will listen and even to those that aren’t listening. #LivingWithMS
And of course, in March Zephyr was still all over my social feed and making my life so incredibly full as we went on his first hike up Pitcher Mountain, small but great for his first hike, he did awesomely and his adventurous spirit was born.
Also in March, I was starting to see great results from my choice to turn my life around nutritionally back in January. It was the month that the pictures started showing a difference. But also the month that I started to feel like this program was working and that I could actually see success but also the habits shifting and the ability to maintain this after my weight loss goals were hit.
I was reading a habits of health book daily and tracking my mood, nutrition and activities. I was investing in myself and my future. It has become the best investment I have ever made as it ended up changing and shifting who I am. More positive, lighter in mind and body. My attitude has shifted and the way I handle situations has even become less stressful. This helped my mental health so very much, it’s hard to explain in words. Typically you can tell by the smile on my face. I am determined, committed and so much more confident in myself.
As Spring temps warmed the earth and melted the snow I was sure to get outside more and of course, it all included hiking with my partners and Zephyr. The healthy choices journey continued as I was focused on simply living my best life and that for me, includes spending as much time outside as I spend all day, every day inside, in front of my 3 monitors staring at screens doing amazing things for my job but it leaves me wanting to get outside and breathing fresh mountain top air.
I also took up yoga. Arm balance to be specific in the spring and started challenging my body. I actually learned that anyone can do yoga and these movements, no matter the size or flexibility, train your body to move with you. I learned to remove my fear of falling on my face and trusting what they call, ‘the oh shit’ moment.
As summer unfolded it was definitely turning into a year of my transformation. My health, my mind and my body all transformed this year. The summer months all blended together as we hiked, explored, we kayaked, and we continued to eat healthily and enjoy life.
Summer also lead to our town hosting a weekly concert series which we loved going to and sitting and listening to the local bands they brought in and enjoying ice cream and coffee from the local businesses. I love our small community and they brought fun in during a busy work week where we could come together as a community and enjoy being outside around the town gazebo and enjoy waving at folks that we don’t see enough and still I stay away from due to the risk. This made it easier. It’s amazing what one event, once a week can do for my mentality.
In August we took a vacation to Upstate NY where we hiked the Adirondacks, enjoyed a cabin on the lake and had the opportunity to hang out on the farm with my parents. It was great to have them quarantine before we went and stay safe while we were there so we could see them, it was amazing.
Love where I am from and look to going back there as often as I can as my parents’ age and memories need to be made, they must be made. Our lives get busy but never too busy for our family. Don’t ever forget about where you came from. I definitely have been awakened to this fact most recently this year.
Another huge milestone took place in August. I hit my weight loss goal on my healthy choices journey. In 7 months I dropped 65 pounds, forever. I felt great, I felt accomplished, confident and oh-so-good about my future!
September came in quickly as summer zoomed by. September is bittersweet for me now as I always remember that it was the month that I was officially diagnosed with MS. I will never forget that moment and you can learn more about it in my previous blog post: What Inspired Me To Change and Grow.
Also in September, my partner, my puzzle piece celebrates her birthday. It’s yes, another birthday month where we try to do something amazing and fun every weekend of the month. It’s a time to make those with birthdays feel special that they were born, that without them in your life you would have a void. I know it’s only been a few years that I have known her but I try to learn from her each and every day. This year I created a Forever You & Me photo book to gift her for her birthday. Because, Raiden, I love you, forever and always!
Going through our photos and remembering how we met, how it all unfolded, and the struggles and wins we have had together, was the best part of creating this gift. She indeed is my #PuzzlePiece and I may struggle sometimes but she is teaching me so much about empathy, emotions and vulnerability. It’s nice to have the influence in my life as it wasn’t my upbringing and it feels good to branch out and learn about myself, redefine areas of who I am as a person for the better and understand others even better.
September also led to the resurfacing of my website and starting a blog, this blog. The focus has definitely shifted and changed and even though it says I WORKOUT. I do a little of that but my MS has changed my thoughts and focus on that and how much I do now. It isn’t all about how much you do, or how hard you do it, it’s that you do it at all and make it worth it when you do.
I started putting my thoughts and ideas down by typing them out and with my newfound confidence started sharing them with the world and all of you. [I would like to thank you for reading and getting to know me, listening to my stories and letting me share pieces of myself with you]
October and November are all jumbled together as time starts to actually fly by as the holidays approach.
My dad was having some health issues that made me want to drop everything and head home to see him. You can read more about it in my blog: A Father’s Heart.
I had an amazing time while there, reconnecting with my mother like never before and finally feeling like I was a peer of hers and not just a daughter, but an equal, a friend. We talked, we cooked together and prepared meals, we sat down and ate together. It felt great being home.
While there I wanted to help my dad with tasks he typically couldn’t do alone. The projects he would only have ever asked my brothers to help with while we were growing up and I was able to show him that I was always there, in the background, watching, listening and learning. I showed him that I could do anything with his guidance. I was able to replace the front steering column on his F350, I was able to help him replace piping for his heating unit in the shop and even adhere new weather stripping to his shop. It reignited in me the skills I have as a #FarmersDaughter and the love I have for working with my hands and making things come to life.
Those days with my father were some of the best and I want more like that. We worked side by side for 2 days and it was fabulous. He even reminded me that I can drive a tractor!
When I returned home it got me thinking. I may have a Master’s Degree in Marketing and an amazing corporate job doing what I love in business but I also find a huge joy in working with my hands.
On a whim, I reached out to a friend that had the tools and know-how to help. Help with what you ask? Well I ordered a pile of fresh-cut, raw hemlock with the idea of building a pergola. In less than 1 month I was able to learn how to do it myself and create an actual pergola for my patio. Of course I had help from friends to teach me but they were great, they showed me how and left me to get the rest done. They came when I needed more hands or muscle than I had. It is true that it takes a team and one should never be scared to ask for help.
This is a project that has helped me find more of myself by doing. I couldn’t be more proud to prove to myself that I have the skills and talents and am completely capable of doing something like this. With the right guidance, tools and determination anything is possible.
My Christmas Wish List definitely includes new power tools this year! Consider my soul reignited and wanting to work with my hands, to build, to create.
December has just started but I am excited to wrap this year up strong and continue this awesome journey I am on because I have never felt better, looked stronger or healthier, or been more confident in myself.
Five lessons from this year:
Trust yourself and leap at opportunities you may be unfamiliar with and even uncomfortable with. (Healthy Choices decision)
Try new things even if you think you ‘can’t’ do them but with the right instruction you will quickly turn that ‘can’t into a ‘can to’. (Yoga)
Get outside, it helps clear your mind as well as work your body, doesn’t matter the distance, just go. (hiking)
Smile often, love with all of yourself (Positive attitude)
Open yourself to change, new ideas and others’ options (you never know what could happen)
BONUS: Enjoy what you have right in front of you. (FAMILY & those that love you most)
